I’ve spent these past few days wondering why my evenings and my weekends feel like real, genuine life is occurring, and my weekdays from 7:00 am ’til 7:00 pm feel like every part of my existence is in stasis.
I have all these ideas and side projects and directions that I want to pursue, but it all gets put on hold as soon as Sunday evening rolls around, as if I am shutting everything down and from Monday to Friday evening I go to sleep.
This isn’t a jab of any sort on my current job. I really am enjoying where I am at, and for the first time since I graduated, I have the same emotional reactions that I did when I was in studio 5th year. I’m working towards something real, there is a creative push tempered by reality, and what’s better than studio is that I’m getting paid. Even with all of this though, The 9-5 just feels like everything is on hold. And I don’t know how to shake that, or even if I should.
One could assume that I need to change my perspective; put what I perceive as my “real life” on hold, and pursue my current job as my creative exploration. But do it with balance because it seems too limited if that’s it. Too one-dimensional and narrow in focus to really benefit me in any way. Maybe focus is what’s needed.